Think

  Sometimes bad things happen.  

 

 
Our world might seem to be completely falling apart.  Whether it is the death of a loved one, divorce or illness.  It is probably something different for everyone.

2013 was just a bad year for me.  It’s now two years later and I still think about that year.  There wasn’t just one terrible thing.  Two of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me in my adult Christian life, happened in the same year.  Which is kind of ironic, because I started off the year planning on doing whatever necessary to make it a better year than 2012. 

If I could turn back time, I’d definitely do some things differently.  But hindsight is 20/20 and when you are in the midst of whatever you’re going through, it’s hard to see the right thing to do and unclear what you’re looking at or dealing with.

At the time, I did my best do make wise decisions.  I prayed constantly seeking God's guidance in each situation.  I went to see my parents to seek their counsel.  I spoke with a dear friend.  But I seemed to have no control over anything but my own behavior and I trusted God to get me through the difficulties.  

Now, it's all behind me but what I struggle with is my thinking.  I do pretty well when I’m working or around a lot of other people.  It’s when I’m alone that is the problem.  My thoughts turn back the clock and I dredge up everything from 2013 and go over it.  It’s NOT like I can change any of it.  It’s NOT like my thinking will make any difference to anyone involved in the situations or resolve any problems.  It’s over and done with.  So, I need to NOT think on these negative types of things but to focus on the big picture and what God has done through these trials.  He took terrible things and made beautiful things.

In case you are wondering, this is a picture that I took in 1997 and has been hanging on my wall everywhere I’ve lived since then.  It has faded a bit but I still have the negative.  (Yes, this was before we had a digital camera or even a cell phone with a camera!)  

When I took the picture, I just thought it was a beautiful sunset.  When I got it developed, I thought the same thing.  I hung it on the refrigerator and a few days later, my husband and I both noticed a face in the picture.  Then we were astounded by it and showed it to everyone.  I blew it up to an 8X10 and hung it on the wall.  I noticed more faces in it and even an image of what seems to be Jesus hanging on the cross with His arms outstretched and His head bowed down.  This is my favorite Jesus picture. :)

So, I use this to make a point.  When we are too close (or in the midst) of a bad situation, it’s difficult to see what we should be focused on.  But as we step back a bit from it, slowly things become more focused and we can see more clearly.  

There will be TRIALS in our Christan lives.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  James 1:2-3

As far as my thinking…I try to do this :) 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

Chosen

I am convinced that we were created with a deep desire inside of us to be chosen. 

I remember when I was in first or second grade at Shirley School in Missouri being the next to last person to be chosen for a game of softball.  It was a terrible feeling standing there waiting and watching all the other children be chosen ahead of me.  But how relieved I felt when FINALLY my name was called and I went over and stood with my team. 

Now, I think about the last poor child who was left there un-chosen.  He wasn’t picked so he had to be on a team that didn’t choose him.  That had to be much worse than being chosen next to last.  I imagine he grudgingly picked up the bat and swung when it was time, full of bitterness that he was making any type of effort toward a win when nobody really wanted him on the team anyway.  I wish I could say that he made a home run or won the game for them but I don’t remember any of that.  I really just remember how great it felt to finally be CHOSEN.

This is why getting engaged is such a big deal for women.  They want to be chosen above all the other women in the entire world.  They want to believe they are special and the only person their love would desire to spend the rest of his life with and that nobody else will do. 

It’s the same thing with a new job or promotion.  When we are passed over and another is chosen, we take it personally.  We want to be chosen. 

I have to say, even at a very early age in life, I KNEW I was chosen by God.  My dad was a Primitive Baptist Minister and taught me that truth.   

However, in my mid-twenties, one night I chose God.  (Mind you, I was already a Christian.)  But I didn’t understand the life changing magnitude it would have on me to choose God.  To say to Him, sincerely from my broken spirit, “I’m surrendered to Your will in my life, whatever that may be.”  

This is when the relationship truly began because before then I was trying to be a Christian.  When I chose God in this way, my life changed.     

As much as we desire to be chosen in life, God wants us to choose Him, too.

I have chosen the way of truth, I have set my heart on your laws.  Psalm 119:30

Crazy BEAUTIFUL

I may have mentioned I have three boys.  :)

They're not actually boys anymore.  The two older ones are now men.  Josh is nearly 26 and Jestin will soon be 21.  Joseph is the baby and almost 12.  


Being from a large family, I grew up with four sisters and four brothers.  So, I've always had women around, at least until I got married.  My husband and I moved away not long afterwards and every time we had a child, it was a boy.  

Needless to say, I longed for a girl.  I wanted to fix her hair.  I wanted to paint fingernails and buy cute clothes together.  I couldn't help but wonder who would take care of me when I get old?  (ha ha)  But it wasn't God's plan for me. 
    
However, this young lady has been hanging around our house for a couple of years now.  She is deeply in love with my middle son.  (I can't say that I blame her!  He's quite a catch!  lol)  

                               

                                 

At first, I wasn't sure what to think about her hanging around all the time because I was used to keeping all of my son's attention for myself.  I admit though she has definitely grown on me.  I've gotten to know her pretty well over the past couple of years and I wouldn't trade her for anything.  

Honestly, when she's not here for a couple of days I start missing her. 

I'm beginning to feel a little bit of what it must be like to have a daughter.  Because sometimes she acts just like one of my kids.

Here are some examples:

"Where's the Windex?"
"Wanna get a pedicure?"
"Are you cooking tonight?"  
"Can I make brownies?"
"Will you make a dessert?"
"Will you make cookies?"
"Can I talk to you about something?"


Sometimes she's funny and carefree.  Sometimes she's a little cranky and hormonal.  But ALL the time she is crazy BEAUTIFUL.   

I'm thankful God brought this young lady into my son's life (and mine).    

He LOVES me...

He loves me... He loves me not...

That’s the question most young girls want answered.  (Women too!)  

I remember many summers as a young girl picking daisies along the roadside.  I'd walk as I pulled the petals from the flower stating "he loves me" and then "he loves me not" removing the petals one by one with the great hope that when I got to the last petal it would be on “he loves me”.

I'm not sure if this was a popular thing to do all over the world, but it was definitely the thing to do in the country where I grew up in Shirley, Missouri, if you wanted to find out if someone special might love you.

It seems like a silly thing to do now that I look back because if the last petal ended on “he loves me not” - I’d just grab another daisy and continue pulling petals until I got the answer that I wanted - "he loves me".  

Then I would be happy and content believing the flower confirmed the love I hoped for from my crush at the time.

As I've gone through life a ways, I have to say that I thought many different people loved me.  I'm sure some truly did and I'm sure some did not.  

How to really KNOW? 

Well, many said, "I love you"  and I believed their words and later realized that they were just words.

Some have found themselves completely crushed by putting too much trust in the words of another person.  Actually, we want to be loved in such a way that we are never let down by the one we love.  But that's not even possible.  We will let others down and others will disappoint us or break our hearts because we believe their words that don't measure up to their actions.

But I must say, I know someone who LOVES me and He proved it with His words and His actions.  

He loves me when I'm at my worst.  He loves me when I'm at my best.  He loves me when I'm unlovable to everyone else.  I believe Him.

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

    

I KNOW I can trust His words.  I KNOW I trust His actions.  I believe Him. 

I know He LOVES me! 

(I hope you do, too!)