Highlighted

My childhood friend received a gift one Christmas from her mother that was very special. Her mother bought Bibles for each of her children. (And I believe there were nine of them!) She went through each Bible and highlighted scriptures that she wanted to bring to her children's attention or were special to her in some way.

My friend told me, later in life when we were adults, that she never appreciated that gift when she was a child from her mom the way that she should have. She didn't recognize the thoughtfulness of it until she was older and how special it really was to receive such a gift.

I have to admit that someone else bringing a scripture to your attention is not as powerful as it is when God, Himself, highlights a scripture for you and brings it to your attention. It will jump off the page and present itself to you as a present straight from God.

The scripture may answer a question you have been pondering or it might pierce your heart. It might actually change what you believe, reveal a hidden truth or bring you great comfort.

I have had my mind blown by God's word in this way many times. It is powerful.

We, too, have received a beautiful gift from our Father but as it was with my friend in her youth, it is sometimes the same with us. We don't appreciate God's word when we are young spiritually but find it's value after we've grown up a bit.

Christmas has come and gone. Presents have been given and received. We have relished in the joy of the most special day of the year and now we are all exhausted! lol

But the gift of God's word is the gift that keeps on giving. We can never get enough. It's where you will find the greatest present of all.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)

The Ornament

Our Christmas tree has always been very eclectic. I've got a bunch of ornaments that don't match and I like it that way. 😇

They have been given to me over the years as gifts from friends, relatives and co-workers. They have come on top of presents as part of the gift wrap. I've won them in games played at work or family gatherings. I've collected them over a period of twenty eight years or so.

I still have a bird's nest that my husband and I found in our very first Christmas tree that we cut down ourselves in 1989!

What I love most about decorating the tree each year is opening the container of ornaments and being reminded of different people or times in my life when I received a particular ornament.

As I decorated the tree this year, my little sister was on my mind. It will be the first Christmas since she lost her son, Brandon, earlier this year.

My husband was helping me get all the Christmas stuff set out and I said, "I'd really like to get Janet something special but I don't even know what to get her."

She's been blessed with many wonderful gifts since Brandon's death. She's received jewelry, blankets, benches, plants, flowers, and some co-workers even bought her a pair of leggings to remind her of Brandon. I just couldn't imagine what I could get her that would be special and give her comfort this holiday season.

All the while I was pulling out ornaments and hanging them on the tree remembering where they came from and who gave them to me. Then I gasped as I pulled out my KU ornament Janet had given me a few years ago. I'd completely forgotten I had it.

She'd written his name on the back of it along with his football jersey number. I held it up and sighed. What a little treasure I held in my hand! Forgotten treasure.

My little sister had been the one to give me the gift...not the other way around. 

My heart was full and tears welled up as I hung it on the tree and remembered him.

I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3 (NIV)

Jestin & Sydney

On June 28, 2016 Jestin asked Sydney to marry him. 

They were on vacation in Florida with her family when he finally popped the question and we were all thrilled when she said yes! They set the wedding date for March 25, 2017.

As the date draws closer, things are flowing into motion preparing for the big day.

Being the mother of three boys, I don't get to do girl-things often, so when Sydney asked me to go to the dress shop with some of her family to pick out a wedding dress, I was excited to go and have some fun!

The "She said YES to the dress!" day was this past Sunday at 3 pm. I went to church that morning then looked forward to a fun afternoon doing girly things with Sydney, her mom, her step-mom and the famous "Gandy" - Sydney's grandmother. We planned to eat dinner at Chili's afterwards, too. So, I stopped by Starbucks on my way to the dress shop and grabbed my favorite drink to start things off on the right foot! 😉

When I stepped into the bridal shop and saw Sydney in a beautiful wedding dress...I was stunned. Somehow, I've forgotten just how beautiful she is. Then as she tried on another, then another, something happened that I did not expect.

Not only did I see a beautiful bride in a gorgeous dress standing in front of me but I also saw my middle son, Jestin, as a baby in his crib smacking his legs on the mattress with a big grin on his face. (He got the nickname Thumper from one of our friends for doing this as a baby!)

Then he was a toddler escaping his bedroom in the middle of the night, getting into the kitchen cabinets, slamming their doors and waking up everyone in the house.

I flashed to him as Student of the Month making us proud, among many other achievements in school. Before I knew it, he was graduating high school.

Where on earth did all the time go?

Tears welled up and I was overcome with emotion. I did not expect that. I planned on a fun time not an emotional time.

When Sydney found the perfect dress, they asked her to ring a bell and make a wish. More tears! Sydney's mom had them rolling down her cheeks.

It was an emotional relief when the sales lady bagged the dress and we snapped a few pictures of Sydney holding it up.

After dinner, I drove home alone with my thoughts.

How did my little child grow into a man so quickly?

How am I going to get through this wedding without bawling my eyes out?

How did I get so blessed?

The Tangle...

When I was very young, probably around four or five years old, I took a piece of chewing gum out of my mouth and placed it into my cousin's hair.  

We were laying down trying to take a nap in the back bedroom at our grandparent's house. I remember thinking about doing it and then I followed through, with no thought to the problem it might cause my cousin. I don't know why I did that. I guess I wanted to find out what would happen. (lol)

I regretted it right away and asked her not to tell anyone how the gum got into her hair but she immediately went to her mother and told on me. 

Looking back, I can't believe nobody gave me a spanking!  The severe look of disappointment I received from my aunt and grandmother were punishment enough. They were completely disgusted with me. 

The sticky gum set in causing a terrible tangle and they couldn't get it out of her hair. They ended up having to cut it out, leaving my beautiful cousin looking a bit unkempt. 

It's a strange thing to have on my mind but a scripture made me remember the tangle and the trouble of it all. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Nobody likes having tangles combed out of their hair. It hurts. It's easier to go around with a rat's nest on our heads than to make the effort needed to completely remove the tangles. 

It's the same with sin. It easily entangles us and once it sets in, it's hard to remove. 

***So keep the tangles combed out and whatever you do, stay away from ornery, impulsive cousins with sticky pieces of gum. 

A Little Bit of Love

My parents raised nine children the best way they knew how and I'm so very thankful to have them both as parents.

They are now in their upper seventies and retired, relaxing on their farm in Missouri. They used to have cattle, goats and pigs for a time but these days it's mostly a few chickens. Mom crochets lots of afghans and Dad reads, rides his four-wheeler around the farm and takes care of his chickens.

For the past thirteen years or so, they have had a dog named Ducky.

He has been the light of their retired years. Riding the four wheeler all over the farm with Dad, chasing squirrels, rabbits and any other wild animal he happens to cross.

Then about a year after they got Ducky, they got a little female dog and named her "Little Bit".

These two dogs, I tell ya! They have been treated just as us kids were growing up. One of them (or both) are in one of my parent's lap most of the time. 

Sometimes Little Bit gets jealous of Ducky and they fight over scraps of food or chewed up bones. But each night, they go together to their kennels and sleep beside each other in the mud room.

They have been my parent's children since all of us have grown up and moved away. They have always been there when we went home for visits it seems like FOREVER.  They are part of the family. 

So, we were all concerned when Ducky got into a fight with some other dogs over Little Bit. He's old and didn't fare the fight very well. They ended up taking him to the vet and sadly, had to put him down due to the wounds.

Dad and Mom were crushed. 

Then after Ducky was gone, Little Bit stopped eating. She searched everywhere for Ducky. She would no longer sleep in her kennel beside his but slept on the couch. My parents took her to the vet but she died in Mom's lap one week to the day after Ducky died.  It seems, of a broken heart.

There's no doubt that Little Bit loved Ducky. She didn't want to live without him. There's NO doubt that Dad and Mom loved both dogs. Now, they have to learn to live without them. 

As Alfred Lord Tennyson once said, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." 

Rest in Peace

 Ducky & Little Bit 

October 2016

No King...

I've been reading The Message which is the Bible in everyday language written in novel form. It's easy to read which I like a lot. :)

As I read through the book of Judges, the following verses jumped off the page at me each time I read them.

Judges 17:6  In that day Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.

Judges 18:1  In that day Israel had no king.

Judges 19:1  In that day Israel had no king.

Judges 21:25  In that day Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.

It struck me that they had no king so everyone just did as they saw fit and reminded me of my own country today.

The definition of king according to Webster's dictionary is:

King: a male monarch of a major territorial unit; especially : one whose position is hereditary and who rules for life 

Honestly, I was taken aback by the last part who rules for life. I know that it means he rules for as long as he lives in this definition. But as Christians, Jesus is our King - he rules our natural and eternal lives. He literally rules for life. 

Some Christians don't even seem to want a king. They want a politician who makes promises they won't or can't keep once they get elected. Granted, we have to elect a president and someone has to be in charge. But will they really do anything for us? Do they really care about us?

Once they get the position of power they desire, they will do whatever they want. They will have their own best interest at heart - not ours. At least until the next election...(It's called politics. lol)

If we are Christian, then first, we are ruled by our King - Jesus. His will comes first in our lives.  

He has your best interest at heart each and every moment of your life. He will do what He says He will do and keeps His promises.

Here are just a few of the things He has ALREADY done for you:

He lived a sinless life...for you.
He endured betrayal...for you.
He was humiliated and mocked...for you.
He wore a crown of thorns...for you.
He was beaten, bruised and bled...for you.
He hung on the cross...for you.
He gave his life...for you.
He lay dead in a tomb three days...for you.
He was resurrected...for you.

The problem with America today is that everyone does as they see fit because they have NO king. 

The trouble is...there IS A KING. 

Intimates please...Intimates...

I recently got a little part time job working in a department store where I love to shop in an effort to save some money. I only work about three evenings a week so it's not too bad. Since I was going to get a part time job though, I figured it should be somewhere I would get a discount. :)

Normally, I work in the children's department or home. Either of those two are fine. I love folding all the little kids clothes and thinking about who I can buy clearance items for. (Which defeats my goal of saving money working part time but you gotta live...right?)

I never dreamed when I accepted the job that I would be forced to work all night in the dreaded department of intimates.

There are SO many different types of bras! I've learned A LOT that I never wanted to know.

There are strapless adhesive bras, convertible plunge bras, minimizers, maximizers, undercover slimming bras, extra coverage, smoothing, body caress underwire bras, ultimate lift and support bras, natural boost push-up bras, ultra light lace with lift spacer bras and 'This is NOT a Bra' bras...to name just a few!

It's overwhelming. I'm not even going to talk about the panties I've seen. It would be a whole other blog post!

It is mind-boggling trying to clean up the fitting room. People try on bras, pull everything off the hangers and leave them laying all over the dressing room floor. Some don't even make an effort to put them back on the hangers.

When I see my name on the schedule and it says Intimates underneath...I sigh. I dread it. I don't like that department. I don't want to answer all the questions about bras and undergarments that customers expect me to know the answers to and I'm completely clueless.

About twice a night or so, someone pushes the customer service button. A computerized female voice announces over a loudspeaker, "Intimates, please...Intimates..."

I groan and sigh while slowly making my way over to help. Inside, I'm hoping that it got pushed on accident and when I get there nobody will be waiting.

But usually someone is there, waiting for me to assist them and the questions have ranged from, "Do you have a Triple G in this style?" to "Do you sell hosiery?"

Hosiery? Do you mean...pantyhose?

How did I end up in this department? Why am I being forced to learn about intimates? I have to admit that it is good, physical exercise. I can spend fifteen minutes walking around with one bra trying to figure out which rack it goes back on.

Heaven help me when I get a call from the check outs and a customer is questioning a price. I must have looked frazzled the last time it happened because as I made my way to the front toting a bra from the clearance rack to confirm a price, the manager saw me walk by and asked, "Are you okay, Melinda?"

"I'm surviving..." I answered then he went on to offer the names of a couple of co-workers who were more familiar with the department that I could ask for help if I needed it. (I heard he won't step foot into the intimates department. You didn't hear that from me, though.) Tee Hee

As with pretty much everything in my life, God used this experience to remind me about Him.

"Intimates please...Intimates..." I hear Him speak softly to me instead of the computerized female voice calling me over the loud speaker.

This is what He wants from His children.

But as with the awkwardness I feel working in this dreaded department, it can also be awkward being completely intimate with God.

Like the many different items we can buy to make our bodies appear better looking than they really are, I also want to hide my imperfections before God. Using everything imaginable to make myself look better. 

Allowing Him to see the part of me that I'd like to keep private and hidden underneath what I allow others to see is sometimes hard to do. But God sees underneath that anyway. He already knows how I feel, what I think about, my attitudes and my true heart.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. Psalms 139:1

Little Sister...

I have a little sister.

She used to drive me crazy. She was spoiled. At least, that was my perception as the older sister of four years.

We shared a room for most of our childhood and also shared a full size bed. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't a light sleeper and she hadn't been a thumb-sucker. It made me crazy trying to fall asleep listening to her smack on her thumb. Sometimes, I had to get up and sleep in another room because of the noises she made and my inability to tolerate it enough to fall asleep.

Then there were the occasions when I'd wake up soaking wet because she peed the bed. I can not tell you how much these things irritated me and made me angry at her.

But there were moments when we enjoyed each other's company. I remember drawing on each other's back as a game we'd play when we were trying to wind down at night to fall asleep. One of us would lay on our stomach and the other would draw with our finger "something" on the other's back and we had to guess what was drawn. A tree? A flower? The sun?

When the imaginary picture was figured out, we'd erase it with our hand like our backs were big chalk boards and start over with a new piece of artwork. That game was relaxing and I'll remember it forever.

I distinctly remember a time when we were at the hay field playing on the bed of a pick up truck while Dad bailed hay. I was showing off my skills walking around the top of the truck bed like it was a balance beam. Of course, I slipped and fell off. When I hit the ground, the breath was completely knocked out of me. I was breathless and struggling to inhale just a small breath. Anything!

It was such a horrible experience not being able to catch my breath. An older brother, I can't remember which it was, held me and told me I was okay. Eventually, I could breathe again but it seemed like it took forever when I couldn't breathe. All because I was showing off for the smaller kids which included my little sister. Ah, the memories from childhood!

We FINALLY grew up as we longed to do. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and cried through the entire ceremony. In almost every picture her eyes are swollen and her nose is red. I think she might love me or she just always cries at weddings. :)

Now, we're in mid-life with grown children and she has grandchildren. (I'm still waiting...lol) We've lived some life and had some heartaches. We've had a LOT of joy, too! I'm thankful for all of my brothers and sisters. But my little sister is special. I guess because we were stuck in a room together for so many years trying to tolerate each other!

This has been a difficult year for my little sister. She's had the wind knocked out of her with the reality of life and can't catch her breath.

So, my prayer for her is this:

God, please breathe. 

Breathe Your powerful breath over my little sister's life while she can't catch hers. Pick her up off the ground and help her. Hold her until there's air in her lungs again. 

Heal her broken heart and crushed spirit. I know You are close to us during these times. Show her how mighty Your works are even when she doesn't understand the pain she is going through. 

I love her and admire her strength. Thank you for making her my little sister.

In Jesus' powerful and mighty name, Amen.


He is close to the broken-hearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18   

Promises...

Like a lot of other people, I've had floods on my mind. I know of some who have had to re-start their lives due to flooding. My friend, Lisa, moved to Tennessee after Hurricane Katrina and started a new life.

Our current pastor is from New Orleans and lost everything in those same floods. This past week, his in-laws were displaced again by flooding in Louisiana. They had to be rescued from their home where they moved after Hurricane Katrina. They have again lost everything!

I heard a newscaster say, regarding those whose homes were flooded, "Everything they own is ruined."

The word ruined struck me because I've used this same word a lot in the past several years in regard to things in my own life that I no longer feel the same way about because they were ruined to me.

My younger sister recently used this word to describe her life after her son committed suicide.

Sometimes an "event" in our lives that we don't expect can make us feel ruined.

Just like those living too close to a river that overflows it's banks and ruins everything it comes in contact with, so it is the same, at times, in our own personal lives. Things we loved are washed away and we will never be the same.

This past Saturday, I sat on the deck of our new home reading a book (Little Women) I recently found at a yard sale and I heard something that caught my attention. I realized the sound I heard was rain hitting the trees a little way from our house but the rain hadn't made it's way to me yet.

I found it interesting because I heard the rain and knew it was coming before it was visible in the field next to our house. I waited and eventually saw the shower of rain falling in our yard but the sun was still shining. I thought, I bet there's a rainbow.

Then I turned around and right behind me was a huge double rainbow that looked like it was ending right in the field behind our house.

I could not believe it!

I jumped up and snapped some pictures then took a video with my phone. I banged on the bedroom window close to me to let my son and his friend who was visiting know to come outside and see the rainbow.  They tried to run after the end of the rainbow but it dissipated before they could reach it. :)

It was some excitement, I tell you! You don't see a huge double rainbow like that often. As a matter of fact, I've NEVER seen one like that in my entire life. It felt almost supernatural because it was so close.

Now, I've got floods, rainbows and promises on my mind!

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between Me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between Me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on earth."

So, God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between Me and all life on the earth." Genesis 9:12-17 NIV

Yes, it will still flood. Rivers will overflow their banks and homes will be destroyed. But ALL life will never be destroyed again by a flood. God promised.

Yes, we will experience "life floods" where we feel like everything is completely ruined. But we will not be completely destroyed because God is with us through those floods. He will not leave us. He will not forsake us. God says so.

My husband was not with me on the porch when the rainbow appeared. He was driving in the driveway and snapped this picture of our new home with the double rainbow shining behind it.

A beautiful reminder that God keeps His PROMISES.

The Bus...

Last spring, we moved into our new home. Since it was nearly the end of the school year, we made other arrangements for Joseph, our 13 year old, to get home from school instead of riding the school bus.

But with the new school year starting, he wanted to ride the bus home each day. I called the school bus transportation department last Thursday to find out which bus he should ride. The person I spoke with didn't have the answer but promised to find out and call me back on Friday. That phone call never came.

I then asked my husband to call our neighbor, whose kids ride the bus, to find out the bus number. He was unable to get a hold of them to get the answer.

So, the weekend came. My husband made a trip out of town and we busied ourselves with fun weekend activities. 

Before we knew it, Monday was upon us, along with the first day of school. I remembered that I still didn't know the bus number. So, I told Joseph as I drove him to school, that I'd call and find out which bus he should ride home and would let him know.

He then suggested that he would just go to the office and ask.

"Good idea." I was impressed with his Monday morning logic. I'm pretty sure he gets that from me...lol

I dropped him off for his first day of eighth grade at the middle school and headed to work for a busy Monday morning. Which bus he should ride didn't cross my mind again until he sent me a text at the end of the day to tell me that he was in a neighboring county on the wrong school bus!

"What?  Why are you in Davidson County? How did you get on the wrong bus?" I asked confused.
My mind raced wondering how he was going to get home and if I needed to go pick him up somewhere, etc. Then I wondered who told him to get on a bus heading in the wrong direction!

"Someone in the office told you to get on that bus?" I asked.

"No, I asked my friend which bus to ride." He answered.

Oh...

Now it all made sense. Instead of going to the office to ask someone in authority for the answer, he just asked a friend.

He took instruction from someone who thought they knew the answer instead of taking it from someone who actually did know the answer and he ended up in a mess!

I couldn't help but think of us Christians and how often we listen to what people say instead of what God says.

All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.               2 Timothy 3:16 (NIV)

We want someone to tell us what to do (and they may not even be a Christian) instead of going to the source. We can end up in a terrible mess by doing this.

The authority in our lives is God's word. It will lead us in the way that we should go and we won't end up in the wrong county on a bus going the wrong direction!

Thank goodness the bus driver was kind enough to go out of his way to bring him home.

The doughnut...

My recent check up with the doctor revealed that my cholesterol is back up. He advised that I change my diet in order to get it back into normal range. So, I've been watching what I eat and walking.

Today, my co-worker walked by my office headed to the reception area and said, "You gonna get a doughnut?"

"Doughnuts? What doughnuts? I didn't know there were doughnuts in the office..." I responded as I sipped my strawberry flavored diet nutrition drink.

Then the person announcing that there were delicious doughnuts to everyone saw us talking and said to my co-worker, "You getting a doughnut?"

Then I chimed in, "You didn't tell me we have doughnuts... My feelings are hurt."

"I was trying to save you from the temptation. I know you are trying to lose weight." She apologized with a grin.

"Oh, I see. Thanks for thinking of my diet!" I laughed. "Well, I still would have liked the invite even though I wouldn't have eaten one."

They laughed and rushed to the dwindling box of doughnuts to pick out the good ones before they were all gone and I tossed my empty diet drink container into the trash can.

After they left, I finished my filing and pondered my reaction to not being invited to the doughnut party going on in the reception area. My feelings really were slightly hurt. I would have liked to have been invited even though she truly was trying to help me out by keeping me from the temptation.

It was then that I had a bit of a revelation as I realized that what I really wanted wasn't the doughnut but the invitation to temptation.

 I wanted to be invited to be tempted to do something I shouldn't be doing. Plus, it hurt my feelings that I didn't get the invite. How FLESHY is that?

I have faced many temptations in my life but I've never considered the idea that I liked it. That I wanted to be tempted.

This is just a story about a doughnut that I didn't get to eat today and there are much worse temptations but it was very revealing.

Recognizing the reaction of my flesh to 'invitations to temptations' will surely make me more aware of what the issue really is the next time I face a serious temptation in life.

Maybe the issue is...me.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

 

Enjoy the Ride...

My first car was an old Toyota Corolla that you could start with a butter knife!  My dad paid $300.00 for it to teach me a lesson.

Apparently, I told him that he had to spend a certain amount of money on me a vehicle because that's what he spent on my older brother.

He got a strange look on his face and said, "No, I don't."

I worried about that reaction when he left to shop for me a car but didn't think too much of it...until he brought a clunker home, parked it in the driveway and handed me the key with a big smile on his face. (It was later on that I discovered you could start it with a butter knife...)

I'm sure my mouth hung open as I realized the clunker was my car and not at all what I was expecting.

It had a wire coat hanger in place of the antenna and spit black smoke out the tail pipe every time I shifted gears. Many of my friends in high school were embarrassed to ride through town with me!

He taught me a valuable lesson.

Do not expect the same things that your brother or sister got just because you are also my child.

I would definitely say that God is the same way with His children.

Sometimes, we have expectations and are disappointed when we see other's aspirations fulfilled and ours are not. We don't understand why we were overlooked for a position we hoped for or didn't get the raise we felt we deserved or even a pat on the back for a job well done.

We can get very fleshy and sassy about it. We can even have an attitude of "I deserve that just as much as they do!"

But the reality is that we deserve what God sees fit to give to us. It might not be what we expect or what we believe that we deserve.

You might get a $300.00 Toyota Corolla (that you will be slightly embarrassed to drive) when you feel you should be getting something much newer and nicer. But it will get you to where you need to go.

God will 'put us in our place' until our attitude is right and then He will put us in the place He has for us.

In the meantime, put the old clunker in gear and drive around town with smoke boiling out your tailpipe like you mean it! Tune in some good music with that wire coat hanger and enjoy the ride!

Carved in Stone

Some things you can not change. No matter how much you want to.

It's over. Finished.

There's no way to go back to the way things used to be no matter how desperately you wish you could.

Seeing Brandon's name carved in stone is so final. It somehow makes it official that we will never see him again until we see him in Heaven.

There is so much collateral damage from Brandon ending his life too soon. My sister is completely destroyed. Her life will never be the same again. My brother-in-law is crushed along with Brandon's brother and sister. It is nothing less than a tragic loss.

I can't help but wonder if he imagined the pain he was going to cause those who loved him so much. Or if he was so deep in his own depression that it never even crossed his mind.

Like a lot of others, I wish I could turn back the clock and see him again.

I'd make sure I took in one of his college football games. I always meant to make the trip and see one but only caught it on television a couple of times. (One of the downsides of living so far away from family. He was even farther away at college.) But how I WISH I would have made more effort.

I'd be sure and tell him that I loved him because to tell you the truth, I don't remember ever telling him that.

I'd tell him he was beautiful even though he was a man...with a beard...and I'm not sure how he'd take that.  But he would probably think it was funny.

He was beautiful...inside and out.

I'd forewarn him about depression. (As I've now done with my own children because of him.)

I'd somehow show him the countless tears that are still being shed months after his death and beg him to get help.

Unfortunately, we can't turn back time. The loss is real. The pain is deep. The suffering for those who loved him most will not end any time soon. His parents, Janet and Roger, now know what it's like to lose a beloved son. His siblings know the sorrow of losing their brother.

And sadly, it is beautifully carved in stone.

Nailed it!

Last weekend I made a cake from a recipe on Facebook that was a complete disaster.

It was a recipe my (soon to be) daughter-in-law posted to my page and asked me to make for her. So, I made the cake but was a bit embarrassed to even give it to her. It was too heavy, bread-like and doughy. Not to mention, the pan I cooked it in seemed to be too small and so it wasn't quite done in the center. I put it back in the oven for a few minutes but that didn't seem to help much.

As she was tasting the cake, I made a lot of excuses about why it wasn't good. She chewed on a corner piece that was done inside. She smiled and said, "It tastes good!" Then said she'd take it with her. I mentioned I'd like the plastic container back that I put it in as she left but really didn't want her telling anybody that I made that cake! I was horrified anyone who tasted it would think I was a bad cook when I'm not. I'm a good cook, really...I promise.

So, I'd categorize the cake as a "nailed it" fail!

Last night, a thunderstorm rolled through as I was sitting on the back porch. I was in awe as the wind blew through the trees and lightning lit up the dark sky. It reminded me of God's incredible power. I found myself praying in the midst of the storm, asking for forgiveness for my lackluster attitude I've had lately in regard to Him. Have I become complacent?

Later, when I lay down to try to sleep, I still had my bad attitude on my mind. My sin.

Then God gently reminded me of who really "nailed it" and it was NOT a fail.

He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:2 (NIV)

Jesus took my sins and the sins of the whole world and nailed them to the cross at Calvary.

Lies, cheating, adultery, hatred, murder, lust, jealousy, bad attitudes, selfishness, intentional sins & unintentional sins. The list goes on and on...

Through Jesus Christ they are paid in FULL. He took them all upon Himself for us and suffered a terrible death on our account.  Let me never become complacent or have a lackluster attitude when it comes to what Jesus did for me and the whole world.

I hope the next time you hear someone say, "Nailed it!" You will remember who REALLY nailed it for you!

Hidden

When we were kids, playing hide and seek was one of our favorite games. Especially, if it got to be dusk outside and other neighborhood kids joined in. Everyone wanted to hide! Nobody wanted to seek...it wasn't as fun.

Finding a great hiding spot was key. Sometimes, we had it in the back of our minds even when we weren't playing hide and go seek. If we saw a good place to hide somewhere while we were out playing, we'd remember to go there the next time we played because it was a new spot to hide and we probably wouldn't be found!

Why was hiding well - so fun? I'm not sure but it was, that's for sure.

It's kinda funny because what got me to thinking about hide and go seek was...sin.  Particularly - hidden sin.

I've been reading "The Message" which is the Bible in novel form and am in the book of Deuteronomy at the moment. When I finished Leviticus, I was so very thankful for Jesus. There are so many rules and sins (intentional and unintentional) and offerings to be made for the multitude of sins, etc. It is daunting!

Thank God for showing us our need of a SAVIOR.

But I'm disturbed by those who think the sin made public is worse than their HIDDEN sin. Why do some think that because they don't admit to the sin or if nobody knows about the sin then it's better in some way?

It's NOT.

Your hidden sin is not any better or worse than those who sin in some other way and it becomes public knowledge.

We are ALL sinners. There's NO getting around it.  

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

Do we like to hide?  Yep...

It Takes Three...

In 1955 these two married each other.

Travis and Rachel met at a roller skating rink in Hopewell, Missouri. Mom’s account is that he came in and caught her eye. She gave him a closer look when she skated past him standing there with two of his brothers. 

The next time she skated by, she winked at him. (She openly admits that she was a flirt…lol) Then she pointed him out to her mother sitting nearby and said, “I’m gonna marry him.”

I don’t think Dad knew what he was in for because she made up her mind that day - he was the one for her. I’m not sure how the story went from meeting to marrying except that Mom asked Dad instead of the other way around.

Technically, they were married in a double wedding ceremony with another couple and when their friends were talking about getting married, they suggested my parents get married, too. Then Mom said to Dad, “You want to?” I reckon he said yes because it’s now 2016 and they have been married for 60 years.

It seems today, it’s an incredible thing if a couple sticks it out for 60 years and I agree that it is an incredible thing!

But I will tell you a secret…it wasn’t just these two who got married that day in 1955. When they were married, there were three involved. (No, she wasn’t pregnant...)

You see, they entered into marriage with each other but also with God. He was included in the vows and promises made that day. Without Him, it would have been impossible to keep those promises for 60 years. Too many hardships and difficulties came their way for them to have made it through in their own power.

They lost their third child at three months old, Annie Marie Eye. She died of crib death. My parents were both completely crushed and devastated by this. But they trusted God to get them through the heartache and were blessed with a total of ten children counting her.

Dad answered the call to preach which was a blessing but also put pressure on the marriage. Mom didn’t marry a preacher but many years into the marriage, found herself married to one. Dad grew deeply in his relationship with God and she was along for the ride whether she wanted to or not.

I was born in 1968 (child number 7) and it was shortly after that, we began attending a Primitive Baptist Church and Dad soon became the pastor. We drove every Sunday to churches in our association. No church was closer than an hour drive away from our home in Potosi, Missouri.

Usually, on the fifth Sunday of the month, we drove to a church in Rector, Arkansas. We got up before the crack of dawn and piled into the old station wagon and we kids went back to sleep as Dad drove to the little church there.

It was an ordeal to drag us kids all over Missouri and Arkansas to go to church. Not only that but when we went to church, there was always lunch afterwards. So, Mom had to cook food to take with us for lunch. This was a big sacrifice on her part I now see, because it was a lot of work for her just to go to church.

All the while, Dad worked in the lead mines to support his family. Sometimes, different shifts. Plus he was a part time pastor. Mom worked when she needed to but mostly took care of the family and home. There were strikes and lay-offs, picket lines and health issues due to Dad’s full time job. Not to mention raising nine of their ten children and the stresses that adds to life.

Midlife came with all of its testing and difficulties. Praise God they made it through and God blessed them with the desires of their hearts. They were blessed with the land Dad had longed for his entire life and built a new house there.

What a testimony to God and His intertwining of grace, mercy and forgiveness into marriage. It cannot survive without those beautiful things. He has extended those to us and we must extend the same in marriage.  Believe me, it can be the hardest thing to do.

So I want to say thank you for the incredible example set forth, for all of their children and many, many grandchildren, of a picture of marriage and how it takes more than two to make it work.  It takes three.

If they die...

In March 2011, my nephew, Brandon Bourbon came to visit me in Tennessee with his girlfriend, Nicole. I was so excited because I don’t get visitors from home often and he wanted to go to church with me. I’ll never forget proudly introducing him to fellow church members at Temple Baptist Church in White House, Tennessee where we were members at the time. I introduced him to the Pastor, the Youth Pastor and anybody else who noticed my tall, good-looking, football playing nephew!

I don’t remember the sermon that day but I’ll NEVER forget how happy I was to have him with me in the service. 

After church, we took Brandon and Nicole to eat at our favorite Chinese buffet. Then we went home, played soccer in the back yard (where I realized I’m getting too old to play soccer with college kids!) and hung out until evening.  

I’m glad I snapped a picture of him (and Nicole) in our front yard that day. After which, he climbed up the tree next to us, giving everyone a good laugh!

When I was very young, a friend once asked me, “How do you know if you love somebody?” I remember thinking about it a second and then I replied, “If they die and you cry…then you loved them.”  She thought that made pretty good sense and I’ve never forgotten that conversation from my childhood. I guess because it is true.

Since I was a kid, I’ve lost some relatives along the way but nothing hit me as hard as hearing my sister tell me that my nephew, Brandon, had taken his own life. We were all in shock. Brandon was not depressed that any of us were aware of. What is this about? We had tons of questions and nothing made sense.    

We went home for the funeral and I must say how proud I was of our little town of Potosi, Missouri. Brandon was a bit of a home town hero because of his football successes and they wanted to turn on the football field lights for him - one more time. 

The funeral was on the high school football field and it was packed. There were three buses of football players from Kansas University and Washburn University where he played college football. First, his high school teammates went through the line and left jerseys on the casket. Then Kansas University football players went through then Washburn University. I’ve never seen so many big guys with tears streaking down their cheeks.

It was evident that those who spoke, truly loved Brandon. The most touching part of the funeral was at the end when the Superintendent of schools said, “Something isn’t right about this whole thing. Brandon was never on the 50 yard line. He was always at the in-zone.” 

Then Brandon's blockers came up and carried his casket to the in-zone one last time for one final touchdown. There was silence until he reached the in-zone and then cheers erupted in the crowd along with complete breakdowns of tears by some. The whole service completely honored his life.

Brandon was just a really great kid who made everyone proud of him. He was in love with God. His life reflects that and God was all he could talk about according to his best friend, Dylan who spoke at his funeral. I can only imagine the impact he would have had if he would have become a youth pastor or ministered to youth in some way because kids loved Brandon! 

He was the type to play outside with the little kids throwing a football when everyone else was inside talking.  My son, Joseph, came out of his room shortly after Brandon’s death carrying a football with a KU logo on it and showed it to me. He said that he and Brandon were playing catch outside one day and Brandon gave it to him. Now, it is a treasure to Joseph.

There is NO question that Brandon was deeply loved and is already dearly missed.  He was beloved to those of us lucky enough to know him.  

My childhood logic about love stands true, “If they die and you cry…then you loved them.” 

I’ve never seen so many tears.

Love one another deeply, from the heart.  1^st Peter 1:22

The Church Pew

This old dust covered Church pew brings back many Precious Memories. I sat in one of these pews every Sunday (just about) my entire childhood. I listened to countless sermons and sang hundreds of old hymns sitting in a pew in That Little Old Church that I loved so well.

It was where I Decided To Follow Jesus. It was inside this building I first took part in communion (with real wine and home-baked unleavened bread) and kneeled to wash the feet of fellow church members.

It was sitting on one of these pews that I learned about God's Amazing Grace. I'm so very thankful and humbled that God brought me up here... (where my dad was pastor).

Sadly, this church has nearly died out and only a few members remain but they no longer meet at this building. God moved me along many years ago when we moved to Tennessee but I've never stopped loving this little old church. I'd mentioned to my husband and parents that I'd love to have one of the old pews from the church since the building has been sitting empty and unused for years but I really never expected to get one.

We are currently in the final stages of building a house in Tennessee and my husband went to Missouri last weekend to get some barn wood from his grandmother's old barn. We plan to use it to make a barn door for our loft in our new home.

So, my oldest son, Josh and our youngest son, Joseph went with him and they also took in a rally race near our hometown and made a fun weekend of it. I stayed home because the timing was not good for me to be off from work.

They had a great weekend and I was anxious for them to get back home. When they pulled into the driveway hauling a trailer full of barn wood covered with a tarp, I was not surprised. But I was stunned when they pulled the tarp back and there was a pew from my beloved little church in Missouri.

I could NOT believe it! How on Earth did they get one of those pews??

When I heard the story and saw the handwritten note giving them permission to take one of the pews - my heart melted. My husband planned for weeks to bring me a pew home from Missouri without my knowing anything about it. Several people were in on the surprise!

I was tearing up the entire night they returned because of how much effort went into getting the pew for me. I just can't express how it made my heart feel and the precious memories that flooded my soul at the sight of it.

What a treasure it is to me!

These days we attend a church in Middle Tennessee that would be considered a "mega church" - Long Hollow Baptist Church. There are no pews... and the building is huge. A very different place from where I came from.

But the church is not a building or a denomination but God's children who meet together to worship Him and to learn more about Him and for Fellowship.

I'm so very thankful for the pew and the Precious Memories it brings to me.

I was glad when they said unto me, "Let us go to the house of the Lord."  Psalms 122:1

On Guard...

It’s sooo easy to be caught off guard by someone or a situation. It has happened to me countless times. To the point that I FINALLY realized God was trying to tell me something about my reactions. 

Even when we are going through life on our best behavior and trying to handle everything in a way that is pleasing to God, we can NOT control what others say or do to us. We can only control our own reactions.

I discovered that when I was caught off guard, I reacted more out of my flesh because I was taken aback by what was said to me. I wasn’t expecting it and my reaction was not what I would have liked for it to be after I had more time to digest everything. 
 

(It was kind of like coming up with a REALLY good come back to a smart remark three days later when it didn’t matter anymore!) lol

How to handle these types of situations?

The main thing I asked myself when God revealed a bad reaction (of mine) to me was "Why did I do that?" Or  "Why did I say that?"

Sometimes, my answer would simply be, "I don't know."


And God, in all of His wisdom, showed me it wasn't what was said or done to me that caught me off guard that was the problem but my reactions were very revealing. They uncovered a bad place in my own heart. An area He saw in me that displeased Him and I was oblivious until He brought it to my attention.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.  Proverbs 4:23

Everything you do flows from it...especially your reactions to others.

God is in the business of making His children like Jesus. When He sees an area that needs work, He points it out. (I guess I'm just slow and sometimes it takes a few times for me to pick up on the problem. lol) But I'm thankful He loves me enough to correct me and to show me where I fail and can do better J

Guard your heart and do not be caught “off guard”…it’s very EASY to do J

COVERED

I can’t believe we got 12 inches of snow in middle Tennessee last week!

It was wild and crazy.

Wild because it was like a blizzard.  ;)

Crazy because we rarely get much snow here these days. They said it broke a record from 1966. 

The last big snow I can remember here was about 7 inches in 2003. We got stranded in Nashville and it took us four hours to get home that day. Luckily, we were in my husband’s four wheel drive truck or we might never have gotten home!

Anyway, the snow fall was wonderful! We enjoyed it thoroughly. Because the snow fell on a Friday, we ended up with a three day weekend with lots of fun snow stuff to do like sledding, taking hikes to the creek in the snow, building a snowman, snowball fights, etc.

I cooked a lot of food and we ate too much, too. Lol

But by Sunday, we were dying to get out of our little town and see what the rest of the world looked like. Church was cancelled so we took a drive and it was amazing.

We took a backroad and drove down the ridge. The snow made everything astoundingly beautiful. I remember looking out at it all in amazement and apparently, at the same time, thought “I don’t have anything to write about.” Then immediately, white as snow crossed my mind and I smiled.

Yes, the snow was lovely but at that moment I was reminded of what is even more beautiful.

As the snow falls and COVERS everything, it makes a beautiful, white sparkling blanket and everything covered by it is beautiful.

Christians are COVERED by Christ and our sins are as white as snow.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

I LOVE what God says.

I LOVE what God does.

He COVERS us and that's a beautiful thing ♡